Kevin (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
alliancesjr) wrote2006-10-11 10:17 am
alliancesjr) wrote2006-10-11 10:17 am
Administrative Assistant to Evil.
One of the running jokes in DYB is that I'm Le Moru's assistant/secretary. I don't do her evil, violent, demonic deeds, but I process all the paperwork for it, schedule those events, and take all her phone calls from other demons. Satan's on speed-dial 3 on my work phone, and I always have to talk to Phil, the Prince of Insufficient Light, because she refuses to.
My soul is kept in a jar on her desk, next to my liver. I found that out after my first evisceration; when she resurrected me (so I could call the cleaners to take care of the carpet), she pointed it out to me.
Furthermore, there are all sorts of clauses in my contract that I didn't bother to read until my second evisceration. Some of them didn't even become visible until my second evisceration. Most prominent is the one about my salary.
Again, if I resurrect you back to the point of employment, then you have only worked for me for 5 hours...
...Consistently...
You really need to read the Demonic Employee guide. You need to be here 12 months before a raise consideration, and 6 months before you are out of temporary probation.
So she raises me plenty of times, but she never gives me a raise. I'm lucky the starting salary is pretty good.
At least I'm not a temp.
My soul is kept in a jar on her desk, next to my liver. I found that out after my first evisceration; when she resurrected me (so I could call the cleaners to take care of the carpet), she pointed it out to me.
Furthermore, there are all sorts of clauses in my contract that I didn't bother to read until my second evisceration. Some of them didn't even become visible until my second evisceration. Most prominent is the one about my salary.
Again, if I resurrect you back to the point of employment, then you have only worked for me for 5 hours...
...Consistently...
You really need to read the Demonic Employee guide. You need to be here 12 months before a raise consideration, and 6 months before you are out of temporary probation.
So she raises me plenty of times, but she never gives me a raise. I'm lucky the starting salary is pretty good.
At least I'm not a temp.