Administrative Assistant to Evil.

One of the running jokes in DYB is that I'm Le Moru's assistant/secretary. I don't do her evil, violent, demonic deeds, but I process all the paperwork for it, schedule those events, and take all her phone calls from other demons. Satan's on speed-dial 3 on my work phone, and I always have to talk to Phil, the Prince of Insufficient Light, because she refuses to.

My soul is kept in a jar on her desk, next to my liver. I found that out after my first evisceration; when she resurrected me (so I could call the cleaners to take care of the carpet), she pointed it out to me.

Furthermore, there are all sorts of clauses in my contract that I didn't bother to read until my second evisceration. Some of them didn't even become visible until my second evisceration. Most prominent is the one about my salary.

Again, if I resurrect you back to the point of employment, then you have only worked for me for 5 hours...

...Consistently...

You really need to read the Demonic Employee guide. You need to be here 12 months before a raise consideration, and 6 months before you are out of temporary probation.

So she raises me plenty of times, but she never gives me a raise. I'm lucky the starting salary is pretty good.

At least I'm not a temp.

Well.

This seems to be a fairly strange new feature that I probably won't use again.


EDIT: The above was posted using the new Post By Text Message feature.